keep or trash?

I think I will keep my blog. I wonder if anyone else will too? For me its like this mysterious answer that will never get answered and that is will people in this class years from now still look at my blog or read any of my posts? If students keep their blog I don't know if I will check them or read what they post. I might I just have to see. I like the idea of keeping it because I think it will be like my escape writing place. What I mean, is when I'm bored on my computer I might just just off the old Browning Boy Blog and through up a new thought or occurrence. This might even turn into a little personal E-journal for me. But, I think it all depends on my grade. If I receive a really shitty grade for this class I might in pure anger delete it so I don't have to keep that memory of bad work. Maybe I might keep this blog just so I can post really ridiculous and weird stuff or fun facts and see if I get any readers to respond. Or maybe if I want I can be a creep and see if I can reel in a person from around the world and creep on them or comment on their blog. hahahaha oh! the weird things I can do with this bitch. So psyched.  

what are we typing?!?

I have wanted to write about this forever now...What in the world are the words we type in for writing a comment and posting it on someone's blog? I have been wondering, are they all words? They are just random letters put together right? Are any of them words? If they aren't words, why not? Is it someone's job to sit there and think of the crazy word or letter combinations? Has anyone ever got the same word before? I don't think have ever gotten the same code/word to type in. Is that what it is? A code? Why a combination of letters and not numbers? Do some of the other ones out there have letters and numbers? why is the shape so messed up? IT DRIVES ME NUTS!

Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man by Bill Clegg (Book Review)

If you want to learn how to be a perfect crack addict/alcoholic and be bored doing so, this book is without a doubt for you. I began reading this book with a really open mind because of three things. 1^st I am not gay and this book is centered on a character that is gay and expresses the definition multiple times. 2^nd I am in no way a crack addict or any type of drug addict so this book I knew would be a eye opener. 3^rd I am not an alcoholic so I can’t imagine how a person functions when they are always under the influence.

So what’s interesting about this book? The tone that Clegg writes in fits the content of the book perfectly. Every sentence from the beginning of the story to the end is short and very matter of fact with little to no excitement or change in pace. Clegg’s character does exactly that. There is no real thought process in any of the actions of the narrator. As I would expect a junky to be, the only process that exists is execute then reflect. That seems to be the theme of this book. Clegg does a great job with reflecting this personality in his writing and I would give him an award for that.

What is this book really about? The book is about a single character “Billy” who speaks in multiple points of view. He speaks in first person and third person only. When he speaks in 1^st person, we most of the time see him in the present going through day-by-day of his life as a crack addict. When he speaks in 3^rd person, we are rushed back to when he was younger growing up as a kid and slowly becoming a crack addict. The most interesting thing about the switching between first and third person, besides the rush we get going back in time, is the development of why he has gotten to where he is in first person. Clegg does a great job of confusing the reader at first making them think “why do we keep going back in time to when this crack addict was younger” Later, we see Clegg move the plot of speaking in 3^rd person to revolutionize his building of a crack addict.

Does the book entertain the reader? At the beginning I was hooked, I couldn’t wait to see the big crash of a crack addict burning (no pun intended) through all of his money and his savings and I couldn’t wait to get to this end result of a big crash and burn or maybe even a poetic crack addict death. But, halfway through the book the day-by-day play of a crack addict was less then thrilling. Clegg went too long stringing the reader along with a crack addict. I quickly lost interest in the constant repetition of meeting new people (too many new names that only lasted for a paragraph), scoring crack, having sex with strangers, the “pulls” of each hit, the constant glass tube, and glasses of vodka. It was so over abused and all the images became less and less fresh from the first introduction. I think Clegg could cut this book in half and still get the exact same reaction out of the reader.

After the first few chapters even the voice got so dull and boring. I understand that in a book describing a crack addict you need to constantly show the abuse of drugs but even the poetic language we get in the beginning is lost. We no longer get fresh ideas like the JCPenny guys (who are supposed to be cops undercover), or “we were like two weeds swaying to the same current in the ocean” this is beautiful, fresh entertaining, but the further we get into the book, we see less and less.

What would help make this book more entertaining? Different types of drama. Yes, We have the drama of this character spinning out of control spending thousands on crack each and every day, but that’s it. I think after those images are killed and beaten into the reader spice up story line. I want to see a crack addict who can’t get his fix, who struggles to meet the needs of his addiction and do something rational. Something like stab a dealer for refusing to provide, or mug another crack addict for his goodies. Maybe even see the crack addict steal from his family and ruin that concrete relationship. I want some violence, yelling, but I don’t even get my fix.

The deeper into the book I got, I found myself doubting the authenticity of the speaker. The easiness of scoring boyfriends and crack begins to seem way too easy. After the first few chapters we see our speaker get paranoid about getting arrested by the JCPennys which I assume to be normal but then the issue is dropped. For some reason the book continues and our character scores crack easier then breathing air. It never becomes a problem and I highly doubt you can score thousands of dollars of crack each day without some type of difficulty. Also, on that note it seems like our character can find a mate to have sex with, with the snap of a finger. It seems like any conversation he has with strangers’ ends with them on his hotel room bed or some sexual scene. It doesn’t seem real to be able to simply ask a stranger “do you party? With what” instead of a hello.          

You Must Wedding Crash

My favorite movie of all time is Wedding Crashers. Everyone has a movie that they will watch over and over again and never get sick of it and for me this is the movie. I can honestly say, sometimes I live for that movie. After a terrible day where things are only going to get worse the next day, I'll walk over to the DVD collection pull out wedding crashers and disappear into a life of pure joy.
        If you really think about weddings, they really work out for the guests. Free food, drink (hopefully open bar...don't be cheap folks you know you always RSVP when you know its an open bar) smiles, pictures, friends, music, dance. Even if you really hate the bride or maybe the groom or some family member who cares! Ignore them or just cut them down as you stick a piece of free medium rare strip steak down your throat and wash it down with your favorite free bar drink! what's not to love? And do I even need to preach to all the single guys and girls out there looking to get a little crazy with some strange ass? What is a better atmosphere then a wedding to find hot man or women usually dressed extremely well that is surrounded by joy and laughter? Its like fishing with grenades! Knock back a few shots at the bar wait for a song where dancing is a subconscious thought and pull the trigger on that man or women you have been "eye fucking the shit out of" all night. As Vince Vaughn would say it "Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly! It's Wedding Season!" Not really, is fall but its something to
look forward to!

Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!






Just the Tip.

New Residency (workshop essay) REVISION!!!

I walked away from my first job interview and nailed it. I knew every question they could throw at me and paired it with a stunning answer. Ok, so what if my sister was the manager, and so what if she prepped me with the entire interview questions ahead of time. I was only 15 and I was hungry for some cash in my pocket. If I got hired I would be working in a dining room within a retirement home. It was the perfect job for a high school student with short shifts each day right after class.

Turns out I did get the job. It was a perfect job, for someone looking to meet some special individuals. The people I met and the things we did will stick with me forever. I remember walking into the dining room, first day on the job, I opened the door and was greeted by a short lumpy looking black man that gave me a warm welcome saying, “Are you the new kid? You want to work here? You suck!” This was my very first interaction with any of the co-workers besides my sister of course. To say they least, everyone who I worked with had quite the personality.

At first I hated this job because of the employees. Every single one of them were dicks. Completely serious, any question I asked boy, girl manager, didn’t matter they all had a tone of “hey kid go find a cliff and jump off it” with every answer. I couldn’t figure out why they all hated me, was it because my sister got me the job and then quite cause she moved? Because I was a few years younger then them? Did I just suck at serving? Didnt like my braces? Too skinny? It was tough at first no doubt, they had a little click going, that involved hanging with each other outside of work and having personal conversations about each other. I just showed up put my time in and left with minimal conversation.

It was about one year later when I started to really become close with these whack jobs. I don’t know what it was that finally made them except me, maybe just time but once they did, it was like someone said, “let the fun begin”

I got to know my boss a little better. Her name was Caitlin a short girl/lady she was about 27 years old, always wore her hair slicked back like the chick from the Matrix. She was a very laid back boss and I always thought of her to be on the same level of employment as myself. No one ever wanted to eat near her because she always had this weird orgasmic moan of satisfaction when she ate; disturbing, but extremely funny to imitate

Then there was Tristan a fellow server who was a white tall skinny guy like myself. Tristan was all about pushing the envelope with how much he could get away with. If you have ever seen the movie Super Troopers, they play a game to see how many times you can say meow to a stranger. Well, to say the least, Tristan was the kind of kid that would play this game at work as he went around to his tables and took orders “Ma’am would you like your soup right meow? Or after your salad?”. Tristan was also the kind of person who would make a bloody marry for a resident and each day he would pour more and more hot sauce into it to see how bad her taste buds really were. Many of my other server friends did the same type of stuff always playing somewhat harmless jokes on the residents.        

But Caitlin (my boss) was the one that taught me all the residents’ names. You’re probably thinking their actual birth names, but no, were talking food service nicknames, like ketchup lady. The lady that wont eat a meal without a full unhealthy slathering of pure ketchup on everything. From mashed potatoes, to a cup of coffee in went the lump of ketchup. Whip cream lady was another similar one. She was a little lower key and had a few of her marbles left but her taste buds were shot to hell. Whip cream lady always made us servers put an absolute mountain of whip cream on any desert she got. This ranged from ice cream (normal) to apples, oranges, cookies, and any type of cake. Being the young little shit head assholes that we were, we decided that we would play a little trick on whip cream lady. Some people may consider this old people abuse and it probably was but whatever I’m over it. One day we took two scoops of mashed potatoes at placed them in an ice-cream dish. Now I will admit the mashed potatoes really looked like ice cream, and when a 7-inch mountain of whip cream was swirled on top it was a beautiful masterpiece. So out went the mashed potatoes with a big pile of whip cream on the top. Her face just lit up and she immediately started to clap and laugh out-loud in joy and happiness. In tears and beat red faces after laughing for 15 minutes straight we finished watching her eat every last bite without even noticing it was mashed potatoes and not ice cream.

Every day I went into work it didn’t seem like work. It seemed like playtime. Yes, we did work up a sweat and get really stressed with all the things to do and at times we got yelled at by higher up managers for screwing up an order or not keeping something clean or leaving something out to spoil or get cold. And, one of the worst days to go into work is when one of our loved residents died the previous night. Even though we played jokes on the residents, it was all of our entertainment, both theirs and ours, and when one passed away the day was usually dull and quiet. To me, every day seemed like it was a new day to figure out something stupid to do to get laughs out of everyone and make the workplace seem fun.         

Treestand Time.

Folks its hunting season. I'm going to come right out and say it I am a hunter. I really hesitate telling people that unfortunately, but its something I love to do. I’m in love with nature. I can’t ever get enough of the outdoors and I know more about the woods, animals, plants and outdoors in general then most people In general.

I have found my love for nature from hunting. Ever since I was a little kid about the age of 5 or 6 I began hunting (not actually hunting but going along for the experience) with my father and both my grandfathers. The more time in the woods, the happier I was. I kill deer for one reason, the meat. I love venison but I also hunt to control the population and donate deer to family and the poor. Aside from the taste of venison and giving free meat to people who need it, I enjoy being in the outdoors the most. This past weekend I was sitting in my treestand, which if you don’t know what one is it is basically a platform to stand on high up in a tree with a seat attached to it. So I was sitting in the tree really early in the morning when its still pitch black out waiting for the sun to come up so I could begin to watch for deer. As it began to get lighter the silence of the woods began to break with the ruffling of fall leaves from squirrels waking up. Honestly, being out in the woods when the sun is coming up is probably the most peaceful experience I will ever come across (that is till I kick the bucket). In the fall it gets really cold at nights as you all know and a hard frost attaches itself to everything, leaves, branches, grass, and dirt.

To me, it’s so interesting to see nature wake up in the morning. The squirrels aside from the deer are the first ones awake. They climb down from their tree and begin their travels looking for nuts they have buried and eating nuts and seeds still exposed. The chipmunks are also zipping around in and out of rotted logs but they are mostly chasing each other and playing around. The birds start to come airborne when every branch and twig is now visible with the sun. The chickadee’s start to work up and down every tree looking for bugs and spiders trying to hide and blend into the bark. Before the sun comes up on a really calm morning with crunchy leaves you can even hear mice traveling underneath the leaves. Nature truly is beautiful and when you sit in the woods for hours and hours in the same spot you being to have such a close connection with it.

Animals are so curious, I have had numerous squirrels climb up a tree next to me only about a foot away at eye level look at me and try to figure out what I was. Now, I hunt in the southern tier of New York on my farm and out there most squirrels have no idea what I am or have never even seen a person before. So to me it’s interesting when they spot me in a tree and investigate. I have also had a number of birds land right on my knee before when sitting and not even realize I was a human. Well, to be honest when your sitting in the woods for hours and all the sudden a bird lands on your leg you jump pretty quick not understand what that sudden feeling was.

Aside from the nature and the love for all natural pure meat, I love spending time with my father and grandfathers. Hunting has been a sport (if that’s what you want to call it) in my family for generations. My ancestors were actually Native American so my grandfather says “you have that blood in you that likes to hunt because your Native American” I wont disagree with him. To complete three generations and spend time doing it in the woods and bond with my father and grandfather makes me love hunting all that much more. I see them every weekend and we share stories about different deer we have shot and different tactics and places to sit in order to see more deer. After all the woods time we share meals together and just strike up general conversation about our general lives. After a successful hunt sometimes we will cook up a nice meal of deer liver and onions along with deer heart, a true family tradition.

 

p.s. I will try and share pictures of me in a treestand if I figure out how to upload a picture.

Who wants some figs and honey?