Killing two birds with one big brick (workshop essay)

So here we go.

            I’m actually writing this in another class of mine because I am so bored (I’m actually writing this in my notebook to be later recorded online in my blog). I wont name the class because I don’t want to be disrespectful to the teachers and others who actually enjoy the class. But I started writing this because I have 3 hours until I’m free to go and all I can think about is how much time and money is being wasted during this class where I’m supposed to be learning. I have figured, that all students and even teachers (because they were students once too) have been in this position before and with all this expensive class time that I am paying for, I will at least get my monies worth out right now by killing two birds with one big brick (my favorite elementary teacher used to say that and I really enjoy repeating it). What I mean is I will be present in this current class, but also get an assignment done for my other class.

           So I decided to write a blog for this class. I figured right now my teacher is making absolutely no sense to me and everything that is being said is going in one ear and out the other. So how much am I paying to sit in this blue plastic chair right now? Well, I actually have time to figure that out so lets step through the math real quick. I don’t live on campus and I’m taking about 12 credits or 4 classes this semester so my tuition is about $3200. Now if you just take the raw total and divide it by 4 (classes) you end up with 800 greenbacks a class (I wont even get into miscellaneous expenses like gas, food, housing, wear and tear on my car, car insurance, parking pass, books, paper, ink, pens… ok never mind I kind of did get into “other expenses”) so basically I’m paying 800 bucks for each class.

Now lets get real deep, deeper then that scratch the top of your head stuff. Lets get to the “I want to rip my eyes out of my sockets deep” (because that’s what I want to do while I listen to my teacher lecture his knowledge away into the dull, stale air of this classroom) Lets figure out how much THIS class is costing me right now. At $800 a class and I have 1,2,3,4…16 classes that equals about 50 bucks a class. I’m sitting here for three hours and paying $50 to HATE MY LIFE. What could I be doing with $50 and three hours of just me time? I could go buy all the greatest junk food like hot fries, little Debbie everything, cookies, soda, Icee’s (blueberry only) Doritos (sweet and spicy chili flavor), Rold Gold pretzels sticks (just so I could lick the salt off them and not actually eat them), Butterfinger’s, and I might even go out of my way to find yes, you guessed it, WARHEADS. I could easily do that every week for three hours and totally love my life. Now, the question is: will I gain anything from doing that compared to doing this? Yup, I will have most likely gained weight and for three hours a week I can honestly say I was extremely happy with me time. Unfortunately, if you think about it, if I do this (write blogs) every week this class will end up being really productive.  

You maybe be questioning me and saying to yourself “it doesn’t really seem like you have really tried to put yourself into the class to try and pull knowledge out” BUT I HAVE! I was really into the class for two classes. I did all my homework, I read and reread all the material for the upcoming class and I even asked copious amounts of questions that pertained to the material and then I hit a wall or a mental state of hate. I think I withdrew mentally from the class when I did reading homework for about four hours and none of the reading was even mentioned in class. How can a teacher think I’m going to care about what they have to say after they make me read for hours and turns out it was all for nothing. I didn’t sign up for this class to play “what homework is actually homework” I wanted to learn knowledge that I could take home and use for my career in the future. Now, this may seem harsh and you may be thinking, “You just hate on teachers” the truth is I’m in this classroom right now because I plan on becoming a teacher.

Actually, the deeper I think, and the further I write this blog post I’m realizing I am learning something. I’m learning how not to teach and how to loose your students as a teacher. The Education program could probably really teacher their students a handful of knowledge if they have them sit in the class and evaluate the negative energy. To be more specific I’m sitting in class evaluating this teacher’s skill. Now, don’t get me wrong, my teacher is absolutely brilliant and has more knowledge on the teaching subject than anyone I know, but the way he communicates it to me is rather poor. There are no diagrams, there are no references, there is no communication between students, there are no activities, and there certainly is no fun. It’s just lecture, lecture, and more lecture, and every now and then questions.

Turns out I am learning something after all. I can certainly tell you that it isn’t what the teacher is talking about up in front of the classroom as I write this.

A list of what I learned:

1. Never sign up for a class with this teacher

2. It cost $50+ to sit here in this chair

3. I really like junk food

4. How not to teach.

The Digestion. Part II

            I fear the future, the change, the loss, and even the gains. I have become comfortable right here where I am at 107 L berry Lane. At the age of 21 years, I feel like I am supposed to be building this great large foundation for the ladder part of my life. Why? I am happy. Who made the rule to work hard and then play later? How far is later? Like later in life? Or later in the day? For me, now is later in the day, and maybe sometimes later in the week. How come I feel this pressure like I’m in a sack being eaten up by the future? I’m slowly getting withered away every day that progresses.

            I fear the loss of family and friends in the future. Every day I get older, every day they get older but… they are already older. This fear has consumed me because I want to put every minute and every second in a jar and hold it in my hand till I’m ready to let go. Cheesy, I know but do I fear the future because I am so happy with the present? Do you fear the future because of the present is so good to you?

            Maybe some day I will hate my present life and will embrace and wish for the future. Take that as an example, some day…that’s the future… that’s not now. Then I have to ask the question, because I’m so happy now, will I wish for the past when I’m in the future? Have I set my happy bar too high? 

What's in your crop?

A Turkeys crop: A stomach that contains pebbles and food. It uses the stomach muscle to grind the pebbles picked up during feeding to digest food and break down large food matter such as bugs, seeds, and nuts.

This week, I put too much in my crop. Some things just need to be thrown in a little sack and ground to pulp and forgot about. Unfortunately this week it was the present. I lived in the future this week and forgot about my daily life. All my spare time was spent with questions like, Where will I be in 20 years? Will I ever get married? Will I be happy? Why do I attend school? All this money and I have nothing to show besides a bunch of loan statements. This future is consuming my life. People keep telling me "don't worry about the future, focus on the present and the future will come" Really? so I just take it one step at a time? I think its a bunch of crap. I've been working through the week like a machine, going from point A to B doing what I'm told. Everything in the present just gets thrown into the crop to get digested till later. 

        What will I be like when I'm old? Will I be regurgitating all this matter thats being broken down? Will I be living in the past? Even though I've been living in the future I don't want to be there. I know everyone worries about the future at some point, but this week is getting to me. How can I escape this world? I cant stand my crop eating away at my real life.