This week, I put too much in my crop. Some things just need to be thrown in a little sack and ground to pulp and forgot about. Unfortunately this week it was the present. I lived in the future this week and forgot about my daily life. All my spare time was spent with questions like, Where will I be in 20 years? Will I ever get married? Will I be happy? Why do I attend school? All this money and I have nothing to show besides a bunch of loan statements. This future is consuming my life. People keep telling me "don't worry about the future, focus on the present and the future will come" Really? so I just take it one step at a time? I think its a bunch of crap. I've been working through the week like a machine, going from point A to B doing what I'm told. Everything in the present just gets thrown into the crop to get digested till later.
What will I be like when I'm old? Will I be regurgitating all this matter thats being broken down? Will I be living in the past? Even though I've been living in the future I don't want to be there. I know everyone worries about the future at some point, but this week is getting to me. How can I escape this world? I cant stand my crop eating away at my real life.
There is so much I want to know about "this week." What happened this week? The turkey analogy is perfect. But what if you wrote this again, or a Part II that hit really hard on what you fear the most. I remember worrying about the future, and yet, in my youth, I was so dumb I didn't worry enough (thank god) or it would never have led me here. Do you know what I mean? Can you craft this into a question bank of sorts and try to answer as "you later"? I want to hear this very much.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anne on wanting to know what happened this week to cause these feelings. But what I really want to know is why you decided to use the crop metaphor. I never would have associated everything going on in my life to food being digested in a crop, but oddly you make it work.
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